Life without God

Have you ever heard someone say, “I know God is in my heart, I just don’t feel His presence?” Many people today have these same worries. They not only have worries of government and world crisis but trouble with personal problems and setbacks as well. Worry and fear are the opposite of faith and any number of unrepentant sins can make us wander away from God.

It's all about relationship. Personal problems are the hardest because they hit closest to home. There was a time when I couldn’t feel God’s presence either. It was a black time in my life.

A few years ago, as my wife and I were working at keeping our marriage together, I’d developed a bad attitude toward her. I was hurt because I felt she didn’t appreciate or need me enough. As I struggled with the sulking, aloofness, and the pity-party of my childish persona, I quickly developed the spirit of un-forgiveness.

It is difficult at best to explain the feeling that I had during that time of my life. However, it felt as if my blood had drained from me. It was total emptiness, despair, and nausea. I did not feel any hope within me. I didn’t care whether the sun rose or fell. It was the ugliest and blackest feeling that I have ever experienced.

The spirit of un-forgiveness had me so immersed in its sin that I felt far away from God. I thought that He was the one who’d given up on me because of my attitude toward my wife. Everything that God was to me, I now felt was gone - assurance, encouragement, approval, support, love, I couldn’t feel any of it. The wages of sin is death and I was dying inside.

I struggled with myself a couple of days and finally concluded that the reason for my pity-party was because I didn't get my own way. I only knew I didn't want to feel like this anymore.

The Lord was not the one who pulled away or hid Himself from me but my guilt that had made me pull away from God. It was my fault that I felt condemned. His Word says that He will never leave or forsake us. I was lost and didn't know what to do. In desperation, I finally called out to God, “Lord, where are you, I need you.”

God, in His infinite wisdom brought 1 Peter 3:7 to my attention, which declares, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” I immediately realized in my spirit what I needed to do.

I went to my wife to ask for forgiveness of my attitude toward her. The second that I asked for her forgiveness, God immediately restored my life and my health. If I were to speak for God, I'd say to me, “It sure took you long enough.” Instead, I felt that warm voice within me saying, “I’m proud of you son.” I had, for a season, forgotten that forgiveness was, and still is, the basis of our faith. I never want that black empty feeling again.

Because God chastises those He loves, I believe that the Lord allowed this to happen to me so that I would know what it was like not to have Him around. He never causes bad things to happen but He allows certain things to teach us.

I thank the Lord every day for allowing me my hissy fit, because it ultimately brought me closer to Him. My daily prayer now is Psalms 51:2, 11, which says, “Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy Holy Spirit from me.”

Free will and guilt put me so deep in that I had nowhere to go but up, up to Jesus. This was God's plan all along, to look to Jesus. Guilt and un-forgiveness are dangerous spirits and can destroy us if we allow them. Don't let them get a foothold.

Ephesians 6:12 says, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. . ."

I had accused God of hiding from me and not being there for me. Although I didn’t feel His presence He was always there and never gave up on me. So don't despair, although you may not feel His presence, He is definitely there, trust me. God is no respecter of persons and He will never leave or forsake you either. He says so in His Word.

I know of a couple, who had it all, each other, food, work, and a place to stay. With these things came the presence, the power, and the full glory of almighty God. Then they lost it all. They had everything! Then, (and with adamant warnings), this woman’s husband took a bite out of an apple.

You talk about the ultimate separation from God and not feeling His presence. They lived with God. They walked in the Garden with Him and talked to Him. Can you fathom how they must have felt when God made them leave the Garden and separated Himself from them for the rest of their lives?.

But praise God, because of Jesus Christ, we have the presence, power, and glory of almighty God once again. Christ's death on the Cross caused the veil in the Temple to rip in two. This gave us access to the presence of God once more. God no longer separated Himself from us. In Jesus day, the high priest was the only one allowed into the Holy of Holies and then, only once a year.

Now just like in the Garden of Eden, we can live with Him; we can walk and talk to Him, and receive His love and glorious presence. However, like Adam and Eve we need to be careful of the snakes that we let entertain us.

I leave you with Romans 8:38, 39 KJV

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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Next week: “God can use everybody.” I tell the story of a beautiful day in church when the Spirit was moving and showed Himself to me through a sister in the Lord. The lord told me that He was going to help someone through this writing. So evidently, someone needs to see and read this story for whatever reason.

Praise God!

See you next Monday and thanks for stopping by,

Your Host
James Lindquist
http://www.jameslindquist.net