After forty-two years. . .our marriage was over. We were so busy reacting from everything that was constantly attacking our marriage, we both became overwhelmed; I became deeply depressed. We’d unintentionally left God out of the picture, which sometimes happens when people go through a torrent of rough times.
I packed up and moved across the Willamette River to my dad’s house. My lack of self-esteem made me question myself as a person and every time I’d notice something I didn’t like about myself, I’d proclaim, “Maybe this is why I’m on this side of the river.”
It was later that I learned that God not only removes things from our lives but also allows the removal of people as well. Do you remember the story about Abram and Lot as they journeyed north out of Egypt? (Genesis 13)
Now Abram and Lot were very wealthy with much gold, silver, and cattle, and the land was not able to bear them, that they might dwell together. Remember how the herdsmen from both camps fought over the choicest parcel of land? Abram did not want to fight among the brethren.
In a Jewish culture, the oldest always had the right to make the choices for the family. However, Abram turned to Lot and relinquished that right to him. When Lot looked at the fertile plain of Jordan, the lust of his eyes overwhelmed him and he chose Sodom and Gomorrah. He then took his possessions and separated from Abram. History tells us that this was a bad decision.
We walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). Lot did not realize that the blessings of God flowed through Abram and that the appropriate answer should have been, “Whatever you desire Abram, is what I desire."
Then the Lord said to Abram, look to the north, south, east, and the west and all that you can see, I’ll give to you. When Abram and Lot (whose name means “veil,”) separated, Abram was able to see his purpose and blessing from God.
When the Lord has a purpose for our life and wants to bless us, He sometimes allows the removal of people who are a “veil” to that purpose. Does this mean that the Lord causes divorce? Absolutely not! We do that to ourselves.
God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) but because of the hardness of our hearts, He allows it (Matthew 19:8). God allowed our separation and divorce because of my ex’s strong desire to leave our marriage. She was bent on leaving. No one but God could have stopped her. I prayed for our marriage and tried to reconcile with her four or five times. Since God is no respecter of persons, I have to assume that I was a “veil” to His purpose for her life as well.
I pray if you are going through a rough time in your marriage, that you please seek the Lord. Don’t make the same mistake I did and leave God out of the picture. A threefold cord is not quickly broken [You, your spouse, and God (Ecclesiastes 4:12)]. Because we left God out of the picture, Satan was able to destroy our marriage. Like Lot's answer should have been, we can answer the Lord and say, "Whatever you desire Lord, is what I desire."
If it is too late for your marriage, I am terribly sorry. I understand; my divorce was not my idea but as the God ordained spiritual leader of my house, I had to take the responsibility for our demise. Although we were culpable, I allowed the strong man to spoil (destroy) my goods [marriage (Matthew 12:29)].
In any event, my advice is still the same, please seek the Lord. He and His Word will encourage you and comfort you just like He has for me, especially in these lonely and hard times. May the Lord bless all of you in your marriages. I pray reconciliation for you. May the Lord also bless those in their singleness. I pray for a peaceful spirit and a quick resolve in your time of need.
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Next week: Fear, the Enemy of Faith. Doubt, unbelief, and fear always point to self, but faith always points to God. Whereas, Christ is the author of faith, Satan is the author of doubt, unbelief, and fear. We have to make a conscious decision with our will, by faith, who we are going to serve.
God bless you all and we'll see you next Monday.
Thanks for stopping by,
Your Host
James Lindquist
Christian Author
http://www.jameslindquist.net
Check March blog archive or my Web page for an explanation of my names.
http://www.jameslindquist.net/htmfiles/biograph.htm
6 comments:
I'm right with you on this one, Jim. After 9 years of marriage I did much agonizing soul searching and repenting to figure out why I was once again on this side of the river. It's what kicked me into writing. It's as if God said, "Okay, Terry, now here's your land."
As ireadthe Article that Brother Jim posted it came to me that we are All sometimes as a Snail that puts it's head only when it is needed out of the Shell, Satan looks around at this time to see that we are Still alive and Hits at the Trget with all his might, lets be Careful in LIFE TO BE A SNAIL THAT LOOKS AND PEEPS AT THE ADVESERYT AND GET OUT OF HIS Path at the Right time, Ialso agree with Terry As she sais "Terry , now here's your Land" I add Here is your Hand... Keep on Writting Jim, Keep on and ON.
"God allowed our separation and divorce because of my ex’s strong desire to leave our marriage. However, by the same token, I was also a “veil” to God’s purpose for her."
I usually agree with you but the above quote, in y opinion, is something I don't agree with.
I don't believe God had anything at all to do with "allowing" or choosing for you two to have a divorce or separation.
I do, however, feel we have a choice and He allows us to make them otherwise we would be puppets and love towards your wife, just like it would be toward Christ, is a choice and so is the relationship.
It is a difficult thing to go through, but it is OUR (Human) choice and so is the daily choice to love whomever we choose.
The post is well written and enjoyable even if I don't agree with you..no matter the side of the river.
God bless,
Sugar
This is an interesting post Jim. Based on previous comments from your friends, it is not without some confusion. As one who has been through divorce, it would be hard for me to say I ever met what Jesus pointed out as an exception. An exception that ONLY allows for "porneia" aka adultery or fornication. (Matt 19:9)
For many, like myself, the rather loose "irreconcilable differences" was a good way to justify the action. Not to live with the decision mind you, but to justify it.
Now...I am SO BLESSED to have someone who loves me, stands by me, and encourages me. It is my hope that I can return just a bit of what she gives.
Hi Jim
I read your post with interest, as I too am divorced! Sure, it was for the 'allowable' reason of adultery and I was the agrieved party, but I will always wonder if I was meant to work through to a solution involving reconciliation. If I was, it surely would have required miraculous intervention to resolve (I'm not going to go into the details!). I think the issue of whether God 'allows' or 'wills' divorce or other tradgedies is beyond any of us to resolve. Let's just accept the fact that it happens.
Moving forward I am currently seeking an answer to the question of remarriage - is it possible or am I destined to live out my life alone? maybe you can share some reflections in a future post?
God bless Jim.
Mike
I think that it is definitely possible to remarry. Otherwise, there is no hope for me! LOL God wouldn't want us to be unhappy or without companionship. I truly believe it is his hope that we find our "soulmate" and live and love together the way that he intended whether it is the first marraige or the 5th.
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