RESPECT

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Number two of a four part series


Respect for one another is tantamount to a good relationship. Although people have probably said it a number of times about separated and divorced people that they fell out of love, it is my contention that we don’t fall out of love, but we fall out of respect. There are reasons for falling out of love but buried at the root of this is the lack of respect for the other. Granted, woman fall out of respect and men might fall out of love, but there is a respect issue with both. Otherwise, why does the man fall out of love?

When your significant other says that he/she isn’t in love with you any more, look for a respect issue. They have lost respect somewhere along the line. It is up to us, through our conversation, to find the issue and rectify it, or we are heading for divorce court. To have and gain respect, we have to be respect-able. For starters, the big four come to mind.

When my wife told me one day that she didn’t love me anymore and was leaving, I searched my soul for an answer. The last few months of our marriage had been ugly for us, spiritually, financially, emotionally, and physically. I am not proud to say but it was more than I could handle. I was not a good leader at the time and fell into a deep depression. That was more than she could handle and gave me the awful news one morning in the kitchen.

I loved her deeply but the depression was more than I could come out of then. I did finally pull myself together and God healed me of the depression but it was too late for our marriage. I tried for an entire year to win back her heart but could not do so. She had lost respect for me and I could not regain it. Gaining back respect is a long and hard process and to her, I was not worth it.

I can speak from experience brothers and sisters that being respectable in the eyes of your spouse is a key principle. When things are dire and you feel yourself slipping away from God, fight it with everything that you have. I was not strong enough at the time but since then I have developed such closeness to God that it cannot be broken. I will never allow myself to be in that predicament again. It cost me too much the first time.

V12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken [Ecclesiastes 4:12].

We will never lose the love that God has for us but there is no doubt a time when He is disappointed in us. Our vertical relationship with God is a key to our horizontal relationships with each other.

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