A CHRISTIAN SOLILOQUY

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep. . .

This is Hamlet speaking to Ophelia in the opening Nunnery scene of William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet. This opening soliloquy spoke to my spirit as I looked back at the time when I rededicated myself to the Lord.

In retrospect it was like I was then asking myself, did I want to continue to be a Christian, or not to be a Christian? Did I want to suffer the arrows and wiles of the enemy [1], or take up the armor [2] and join in on the fight [3], to end Satan in my life or to die, myself [4]?

Even today the serpent, as a roaring lion, roams about looking for whom he may devour [5]. There are, no doubt, countless roadblocks and hindrances thrown up by the serpent to those wanting to come to Christ.

Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth? [Galatians 5:7 KJV]

Sixty-three years ago, I asked the Lord into my heart, a decision that I have not regretted. A few years later, I started high school. My peers and the world got a hold of me and things changed, not only in the natural, but spiritually. I forgot about God and stopped going to church. I was old enough to understand a few things now and I wasn’t that innocent little kid anymore.

For 40 years, I was in the hog pen not serving God. After all that time away from God, I reassessed my life, I thought to myself, to be a Christian or not to be a Christian that is the question. Why should I go back to Jesus? Considering how much I loved the Lord when I first asked Him into my life, why was I holding back from rededicating? What happened?

Let’s rewind this story about 23 years and allow me to share my heart for a minute. This is why I did not want to rededicate my life to Jesus Christ.

We all have issues. Me…I hate to fail…at anything. Although I’ve done some good things in my life, I’d always perceived myself as having fallen short, either in deed or in measure, probably stemming from a very strict earthly father. I’d started out loving God and had ended up drifting from Him.

The Bible tells us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God [6]. There is none righteous, no not one [7]. Death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned [8]. Why should I get back into Christianity if I was going to fail at it? It didn’t make any sense to me.

I struggled with this for a long time. Then I realized that it was all a lie straight from the pit of Hell. Yes, we all miss the mark, but He forgives us and as long as we get back up, we succeed. It is when we do not get back up…that we fail.

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[1]  Psalms 7:13; Ephesians 6:11
[2]  Ephesians 6:11-17
[3]  Matthew 11:12
[4]  Philippians 1:21
[5]  1 Peter 5:8
[6]  Romans 3:23
[7]  Romans 3:10
[8]  Romans 5:12


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